Emotional Challenges Of Breastfeeding: Motivation & Tips

Here are some things I’ve learned so far on my journey. Maybe it will be helpful to other new breastfeeding moms out there. 

• It takes time for your breastmilk to come in. I had NO IDEA how the supply and demand of breastfeeding worked. I truly thought my milk was going to be ready for the baby right away. I didn’t know that first, your body makes what is called colostrum. In my case, I was overwhelmed with being up all night feeding Rory in the hospital. I was in tears, stressed, tired, and wanted a fix. In no way did I feel pressure from the nurses at our birthing center to give formula to Rory. They told me it was an option and I took it right away. I continued to let him feed on my breast the next morning but the 3 hours of sleep I got after giving him formula was much needed.
• Your baby will need to be on you a LOT at first and you won’t be able to get anything done. The more your baby sucks the more it tells your body to produce milk. This means you will have a baby on you basically 24-7. I felt helpless. I sat on the couch for almost the entire first 2 weeks with Rory on my breasts. He was feeding on me ALL NIGHT LONG. This is what’s called “cluster feeding” I was exhausted.
• Try different breastfeeding positions if one’s not working. I was unaware there were so many different positions. I was a fan of the football hold (#4 on this list) when Rory was a newborn. The side-lying positing works well (#5 on the list) as the baby gets older. That’s the one Rory and I are currently doing for morning feedings. It’s a perfect wake up and breastfeed from bed pose. 
• Have a cheerleader and support system. I vaguely skimmed over a page about a “support” person in What To Expect When You’re Expecting but honestly didn’t realize how helpful it was until it was reality. If it weren’t for Andy I probably would have given up. With COVID it is so isolating and it was literally just the two of us the first 2 weeks so he was #1 support. We saw nobody else in our home for 2 weeks (with the exception of our parents but that was through a window) I made connections with people via technology, but having someone physically in your presence was so important. He brought me food, water, gave me verbal positive affirmations of what my body needed when I wanted to give up. It helps so much with your emotional well being to have a support person. I totally can understand a person giving up if they don’t have support so know who your support will be BEFORE the journey. I do recommend Facebook groups for help but take those with a grain of salt as every situation is different. La Leche League is helpful too and I’ve joined some of their virtual support groups. Seeking professional advice is always best if you have concerns/needs. 
• Go without a bra. I didn’t wear a bra for basically the first month of breastfeeding. With the constant need to have Rory on my boob, it was easier to go braless. (Just keep your curtains closed if you don’t want neighbors seeing exposure!) I lived in a robe or an open shirt like a flannel; comfy and practical. Why get a nursing cover in the time of covid when you are going nowhere but home? As time went on I did start to wear nursing bras more because Rory didn’t need to feed as often. Not to mention wearing a bra again helped me feel more “civilized.”
• Try other options. If having your baby suck your nipples 24-7 isn’t working for milk supply, try something else. We went to a lactation consultant and I am so thankful for that option. It was stressful having Rory on me all the time, and not seeing a rise in my supply. It turns out he was not sucking hard enough on the nipple. He more so liked to use it as a pacifier and fall asleep on the boob. The lactation consultant was SO helpful in giving tips and I saw immediate improvement after trying her plan of action.
•  Pumping will help with supply. For about the first month we were supplementing with formula because I didn’t have much of a breastmilk supply. It turns out I was not pumping enough. Pumping was part of my plan of action from the lactation consultant and it worked after about 3 days. I saw the supply go up, and Rory started to get more breastmilk at feedings. We needed less formula as the pumping increased. He wasn’t strong enough yet at 1 month to suck hard enough on my breast and get the milk out to fill his tummy. I did try some lactation supplement drinks but I don’t think that’s what helped my body’s supply. I know the supplements really help some women but everyone is different.  I do believe it was the pumping that made the biggest difference for me.
• Once your milk comes in, things will be so much better. It felt like an eternity before my milk supply came in 100%. It was just at the beginning of November that I was able to do strict breastfeeding. We tried only breastfeeding on Rory’s first camping trip and since then it’s been consistent supply. I was able to start sleeping more because Rory started sleeping in 3-4 hour stretches versus 1-2 hour stretches.  Maybe it was partly the fresh air of camping but since that trip, I feel like things have been so much easier for Rory and me. He’s fuller longer and I feel at ease. 
• Keep pumping to work your supply so your partner can do bottles. Having a little extra so your partner can do bottles will be a relief time for you. Andy has been able to do a bottle at night with Rory (from what I pump during the day.) It’s been a nice bit of “me” time and gives daddy and Rory their needed bonding time, too! I’ve been able to start freezing breastmilk in freezer bags because my supply has gotten so consistent, too. A huge relief! This way I can enjoy a wine or beer at my leisure knowing there’s a supply of breast milk in the freezer!
• It will save you money! Shockingly, being the frugal people we are, this realization did not come to us until after breastfeeding began. If you haven’t already realized we are all about saving money. Baby formula is expensive! Chances are you will get formula samples and coupons in the mail because they like to market themselves. This is a good thing however because if you only need small samples while your supply comes in, your set. One sample we got was Enfamil and it worked really well on Rory’s stomach. We were able to supplement with the samples while my supply came in we got and haven’t spent any money on formula.