Having a baby in the time of a pandemic has been a journey we could have never prepared for. An isolating journey for all new parents to navigate in 2020. “Pandemic babies” are meeting family online via zoom calls. Screen time is becoming a way we stay connected….but at the same time society tells us (and it’s true!) that kids have too much screen time. It’s all about finding a balance.
Rory’s first meeting of his grandparents was through windows with masked grandparents. With masked family members are pandemic babies going to know what facial expressions are? How facial expressions are used? What facial expressions are appropriate? These are questions I’ve been contemplating.
It’s easy to become isolated as new parents during this time. I’ve found a handful of ways to feel connected with the world outside of me while staying in quarantine with our baby. Hopefully, this can help other families during this wild time we are living in and give positive light to the things we can control.
First and foremost, give yourself grace during this time. It’s hard. We are isolating ourselves as new parents and raising a baby. In a normal world, there would be people coming over to support and help out. Do not stress over the little things, and remind yourself that at the end of the day, all that matters is that your baby has been cared for and loved. I know I need to give myself grace throughout the day because I like to “complete tasks” to feel I’ve done something. Giving yourself grace means reminding yourself that cuddling with your baby is enough. I suppose feeding and diapering, is necessary too.
Take it day by day. If there’s anything people have learned through this pandemic, it’s to be flexible. COVID is not something we can plan out, and new information comes out about it constantly. You will have family and friends asking when they can come to meet the baby. Take it day by day. You are the parent and you get to make the rules. Do what you are comfortable with. We haven’t given anyone specific times of when they can meet the baby because we don’t know. Taking it day by day will relieve the pressure and allow you to do what you are most comfortable with. Our parents to this day are still the only ones who have held Rory beside us.
Celebrate the little things. Being a new parent is HARD. Being a new parent in isolation is even harder. We found joy in celebrating the small things with Rory over the past couple of months. Things like lifting his head, doing tummy time, learning how to use a bottle, adjusting to sleep patterns. These are things that should be celebrated! Do not undervalue these moments. They are big moments and will remind you that you ARE DOING AMAZING at raising this human despite not always having people to share that with.
Stay connected. Speaking of having people to share moments with, STAY CONNECTED. I have made it an extreme point to send my family and friends photos of Rory often. We are raising a baby that all of these people have not yet met. I sometimes forget our close family/friends haven’t met him because I am with him 24/7 an he’s become my life now. But keep in mind there’s a whole village of people who want to meet and love your baby when the time comes. Stay connected by sending videos, photos and updates often. This means not just on social media, but go the extra mile to send videos/photos that you don’t post for the world to see. I’ve made a monthly video slideshow to share with our family/friends so people can see how much Rory has grown. We sent Thanksgiving cards with photos of him too simply because in a year without COVID, we would have all been together at that time. Go the small extra mile to make things meaningful. Family Zoom calls can be chaotic but a good way for people to see baby.
Establish a daily rhythm. As a new parent, it is easy to feel lost in the mix of adjusting to a new life. I know I felt that way. I still am trying to figure things out, it’s a journey. I have found that a daily rhythm has helped me feel grounded. I say “rhythm” because this can translate to a “looser” version of a schedule. The word schedule can be rigid. As a new parent, rigidity of a timely schedule is not the stress we need to be added to the huge adjustment being made in our lives. I know many people, new parents or not, throughout quarantine have lost themselves in their homes and lost the concept of time. Giving yourself a daily rhythm will help you to feel a routine throughout the day, and make you feel more grounded. We cannot control COVID, we cannot control what is happening in our outside world but we CAN control our time and how we manage it.
Go on daily walks. This has been a huge part of our “rhythm” each day. Going on a walk each day is helpful not only for your physical well being but also for mental well being. Getting outside is a reminder that there is an outside world beyond my home. It’s refreshing. Going on a walk with a dog and a baby takes more time than going out by myself but it is so worth it. A big excuse people might say to themselves is how much work it takes to get out the door with a baby. In all honesty, it adds about 5 extra minutes. If you start baby at a young age chances are they will grow to love it. Rory loves the fresh air and falls asleep in the carrier on most of the walks.
Talk to other new parents. Being isolated with a new baby is hard however we have the gift of the interenet and phones. Use these to your advantage and connect with other parents! Connect with people who are going through the same struggles you are! I have found that this helps keep me sane, keeps me laughing, and makes me realize I am not alone in this. It’s also a reminder that one day we can have parent meet up’s…for now the best we can do is talk with others! There are loads of Facebook groups out there. One I am very fond of lately is “The Leaky Boob.” It’s refreshing to read real situations that new parents are working through daily.
